This morning, I got a chance to read several online contents in the most perfect stillness. It was a different feeling when I read something with a clear soul, I suppose. I feel empowered. So, let me jot down my takeaways here.
“It’s not the strongest of the species that survive nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” -Maudy Ayunda.
That quote that I read this morning motivated me to write this reflection.
For the past two weeks, I felt I was on a very low point. I didn’t cheer up when it’s time to connect with others. I feel empty. Once I saw social media, I started to think that everybody is living their best life with many activities to explore, full of laughter, achievements to expose, and friends to cherish with. I woke up every morning with only intention to be able to sleep again.
What a messy life!
Ops! No! I am living the best of life. I neglect to love my self first before anyone else. What I saw for the past two weeks was only about others. I keep comparing my growth with others’. I forgot to look at from within. What a mistake to put others as a priority. Fatiha, let me tell you that you have been growing too. Oh really? Yes! Take a look at this love letter for you.
Dear myself, you have come this far with a lot of changes. You have been quite responsive to a change. You are sound and safe within the chaotic pandemic. You can manage pretty well to be just at home doing many things and exploring your creativity. Let’s say, you could pass online classes. You could pass Ramadhan feeling so intimate to God. You still have your loyal mother, father, and siblings right beside you every time supporting whatever you are doing. You have a super kind big family to celebrate every moment. You have enough best friends who still accept your weird thoughts. You keep actualizing yourself through writing, poems, and journaling even you made a creative project with those subjects. You bought books and finished reading them completely until the page of bibliography. You keep trying to know your Creator even without Islamic lectures and many online Islamic classes. To add, you have been trying something very novice to you: online tutoring. See? You are doing totally fine, Fatiha! It’s okay that you don’t start cooking. It’s acceptable that you don’t buy a new bicycle. It’s okay that you don’t follow the most trendy virtual classes like everybody else. It’s bearable that you don’t start your own business when the society tells you should. It’s fine that you keep asking about yoga without knowing the exact time you will do it. In the end, you realize that those aren’t your cup of tea. They don’t match your natural preference, do they? Everyone has been gifted with special capabilities to express himself. Hey Fatiha, you know yourself better than anyone else. Thank you for always holding me back and focusing to only yourself. I appreciate that a lot. Lots of love from me, to me, by me.
Let’s discover you even more NOW! You are special no matter what and you aren’t comparable to other growth and preferences. Note: it is okay to slow down sometimes but you must keep connecting but with an art; practice to feel other happiness, too.
You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah....... (QS 3: 110)
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