"I don't belong here!"

Because of the pandemic, my intensity going outside decreases drastically. Recently, I usually go outside once a week to do my own business.

But this morning was different! I realized something that I am missing during this pandemic. This morning, I went to the campus to finish not only my business but also people's business dealing with people who have power in certain parties.

I am not going to lie that the pandemic gives me many chances to communicate better with my family which is, to be honest, my go-to comfort zone. I have been living comfortably with food served by mom, with money given by father, with touches of laughter shared by my little brother and my little sister, and with the God of the Internet from Telkom. Lately, this home brings so much joy.

However, going back to touch the outside world side by side (not from virtual) little bit shocked me.

Nine months have been passed since the middle of March, the period when staying home orders began. I have been living my life with minor problematic conflicts especially with people since I met none. Avoiding people also means avoiding the virus, right? 

Most of the time, I solved my own problem. In another world, I just focused on myself. My activities. My hobbies. My concern. My worries. 

By this reflection, I just thought that online communication could have lost our instinct to help others. I feel like this online communication blurs our sensitivity to look at problems. This could happen because of our ability to merely meet and bond with people that we have been known for so long like family and best friends. This pandemic does not allow us to see and build a deeper connection to something new, different people who might have different ideas than us, a place that looks so foreign to us.

I am not condemning the pandemic or complaining about all these things from home, yet . . .

Surely, the pandemic has let limit our social interaction. I am saying that it is quite hard to connect with new people and a new community. Such doing is possible but many people choose to prioritize themselves first before anyone else. Besides, our action is just to fulfil our essential needs e.g. food, house, and money. Meeting new people can be problematic because of the horrifying feeling to be infected by the virus.

The more I reflected about this morning accident, I am so thankful to be able to manage a conflict (again). 

It drained me to rethink. It challenged me to go beyond my comfort zone. It pushed me to innovate my ways of dealing with people. Somehow these social context things that I – perhaps you as well – am lack of during the global pandemic. Isn’t social tank and its problem-solving part of human’s need?

You can deny my view. Yes I know, there are social media, video conferencing platforms, and messaging apps that can meet us to new people. I would not deny that they can meet us to similar social circumstances before the pandemic. However, still, they can not replace the joy of knowing a person or community that may have the exact opposite value and opinion to us.

In the second language learning, I learn about comprehensible input proposed by a 1970s' linguist, Stephen Krashen, or it is explained as a second language learner must be given a meaningful input. A meaningful input here refers to an input that is slightly above the current’s learner ability to give an impactful sense to the learners. Since too easy material or inputs will make learners bored and too hard ones will most likely discourage them to learn.

In my case, pandemic gives me an idea about “routine” that I start to enjoy. It arranges my schedule well. However -- I guess because of my extroversion personality -- the need to know deeply many more new people is still crucial. From this morning issue, I could review again my value that is about "I have to challenge myself to surround with different people every day". It’s not only important for our future career. That’s so transactional purpose in my opinion.

Let me see from within, a person that perhaps his experience is slightly greater than me helps me growing for sure. If we correlate to education context in the previous explanation, a person that is more knowledgeable or more experienced than us can give us a comprehensible input. This person can give me a valuable lesson that I can apply to guide my life along the way.

So if you ever feel don’t belong to a certain community that seems so magical to you, don’t despair. Don’t lose hope. It may be the biggest learning point that you have asked for so far?

A growth mindset is about changing our insecurities and jealousy to people's achievements into making them as our nearest learning resources and inspiration. By this, we don’t feel like missing out and not belonging to a certain community.

Hang in there, okay?