Have you ever felt the burden when you’re helping others? You feel like you waste your time and your energy. If there’s academic burn out terminology, should I say this one is “helping burn out”?
Being altruist must have many challenges. One of the things may be detaching the acknowledgement and an appreciation. Men are fond of praise, aren’t they? Appreciation is truly human's nature. To always give and focus on others can be so exhausting.
Yet, I think it is all about a matter of intention and adulthood. Firstly, try to ask yourself “When I assist others, what something do I want in return?” Is it the money? The appreciation? The applause? The validation from others that we’re so good at something? If we want to look at deeper, there’s an abstract transaction with God. I believe nothing beats this sustainable intention until The Day of Judgment.
Personally, setting up intention helps me to become stronger altruist. Whenever I was asked to do something by anyone without materialistic and wealthy things in return, I try to mindfully say “bismillah” or literally translated “with the name of Allah”. This simple basmallah indicates that we do all of the things because of Allah. Only because of Allah.
Allah has given me an ability without mean to be used on His way. Allah let me do the “heart-work” with the skill set He has given me. I guess this is how I perform gratitude. At the end of the day, I will keep going without an appreciation, a validation, or applause from a man since I am not craving for those cheesy things. I have a bigger vision. I want to be loved by Allah. I want His Rahmah by the Day of Judgment.
Secondly, in my view, it’s all about adulting. If we have been focused on others, doesn’t it mean we have been so mature to think of others? We have finished dealing with ourselves. It is the time we open up space in our lives to be shared with others. Besides, prioritizing others probably means we are learning to know ourselves better. We try to judge and evaluate what capabilities we can share with others or what things we can not do for others.
In my view, we don’t always be a leading actor in life. Sometimes, we have to be a supporting actor. We should appreciate others some days and we can be appreciated by the others on the other day. It is all about the art of balancing everything.
There is a beautiful story told by Reza Rahardian, an Indonesian superstar actor who regularly plays the main character and acts in many box office movies. He said in one of the interviews that he is happier when he got an offer to be a supporting role in a movie. “There’s a room for improvement,” he said. He added that being a supporting role means he is a companion for the leading actors to shine and to coach them to be the next generation of other skilful actors someday. The leading actors can not play alone without any conflicts that perhaps are occurred because of the connection with the supporting role.
To close this, I want to quote a simple beautiful truism.
“When you’re helping others, you’re actually helping yourself.”
I think that’s undeniable, isn't it? Also, it's a form of mentality and mindset to always be hands down! :)
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